How To Be A Girl: Tanning Beds

So let me start this off by saying that tanning beds are REALLY bad for you. I mean, I’m not gonna go into statistics and stuff but I read something like if you’re under 30 and you use them like once a week you double your chance of skin cancer? But I could have just made that up. I honestly don’t even know where I pull this out of, but trust me, they’re super bad! Before you even BEGIN to think about tanning, here's a great article on the dangers of tanning: http://www.skincancer.org/prevention/tanning

Howwwwwwwwwwwwever. A few months ago, I started using them. I know its not exactly the best decision ever, but I don't smoke so I figured it was time to  take some risks or sum? Also, my friend Elena had and I got really jealous of her tan, so I did some research on them and thought ‘hey, one or two beds isn’t gonna kill me.'

When I was thinking about using them and doing all my googling I found that there wasn’t much info out there for the complete beginner. And I mean COMPLETE. Because I’ve only been on 3 sun holidays in my entire life and as you know Ireland isn’t known for its summers. So I thought I’d write this guide for anyone who is wants to start tanning but isn’t really sure what it involves or what happens and is just a complete noob.

1. So basically, the first thing you need to do when you’re thinking of going tanning is shave, exfoliate and moisturise. Try to do this at least a few hours but preferably a day before going, so that your skin isn’t too sensitive/oiled up, which will make you burn easier! Also, this will make your tan last longer since all the dead skin is gone and all the sexy skin is showing!
2. You then need to make sure you’re not wearing any make up or fake tan, although tbh I never really stuck to this rule because I would usually go tanning before going to college or on the way somewhere etc.
3. Whatever amount of minutes you think you should do, HALVE IT, and do that instead. Honestly. I can’t stress this enough. I did 4 minutes the first time and was burnt for two weeks. Like I could barely get dressed or sleep properly for 3 days, that bad. Meanwhile, Elena did like 7 and Niamh did 6 and both of them were fine. That’s because they already had base tans though, and I, contrary to what you might see in my Facebook pictures, am white as a ghostly ass ghost.
4. When you get to the tanning salon, don’t be afraid to ask questions, like what sort of machines they use, which ones are better for beginners, which ones bronze you etc. There’s all sorts of different types, but as this is an amateur tanning blog I’m hardly going to into them. I made the mistake of getting on a really high strength one the first time, which was probably another reason why I burnt so bad.
5. Tell the tanning bed operator how long you want to go on for and then they’ll click it into their little machine. I would maybe advise asking them how long they think you should go on for, based on your skin type and all that jazz, but mine were useless at that so I wouldn’t trust them too much. Just litch go in for like 3-5 mins the first time, depending on how sun allergic you are.
6. Basically then you go into this little cubicle and whip your clothes off. You can leave your undies on or whatever you want, but some people prefer not to have tan lines. The salons clean the machines after every use, so I suppose it’s pretty hygienic.
   
   
   
7. PUT ON THE GOGGLES. Just put them on. Seriously. Elena never does, and it drives me crazy. Because the only type of cancer that sunbeds DEFINITELY 100% cause is cancer of the eyelid. Ok maybe that’s not the actual name for it, but look it up and you’ll see.(PUN!!!) So the goggles are SO important. And I know they squish your eyes, and I know they ruin your hair, and I know you can’t see anything, but suck it up bitch.
8. Get in the bed, and close the door over and press the little button that will turn the tanning bed on. This might sound pretty obvious but I was really confused about how far it was supposed to close and when the bulbs would come on and stuff. There’s usually a little gap, so I always keep my phone handy in case any Final Destination moments arise. Also, try to bring a friend with you who will alert people if you are trapped in a bed.
9. Most of the newer beds have lots of controls inside, so you can turn up the music, turn on/off the air-con (or focus it on certain parts of your body), spray some water on yourself, or turn the bed off at any time, again, eliminating any Final Destination type situations. (As you can see, this was a big concern of mine when going tanning.)
10. Finally, when you get home, moisturise! Don’t go tanning more than 3 times a week and go up by a minute each time, so you don’t overdo it.

There’s a whole lot of stuff that I didn’t include here, like tanning accelerators and deep bronzing beds, but I honestly know nothing about them and if you’re at the stage where you wanna know about them, this blog really isn't for you!